Upple's AfterMath (Season Three)

Acknowledgment :P
Dear Readers,
I m coming out with the third season without a reason of this post. Its because of the stupendously crazy response form you people that I forced myself to acquaint you more with the KID NEXT DOOR. I also appreciate the idea of the girl(s) and boy(s) who really have brilliant schemes to testify Up-Ple for being-so-Up-ple like.
happy reading!!!

!!???READERS KINDLY!!???
A) give me more suggestions :P if u have anything n mind to do something about irritating KID NEXT DOOR..!!
B) It is advised to read the first two seasons i.e. the two posts before this one.
c) Also no body ever suggested me if i could come up with apple baskets as gifts for those who give amazing ideas to get rid of Up-ple. hmmm.. Supercoool.. aint it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The country is serious about our next door neighbours and so AM I !!"- By Me

...He was on top of me.. and I was breathing hard.. so hard that i must have gone unconscious but his on and off movements made me alive every now and then.. I m sure about my emotions.. as I have never felt this way before.. I was panting and .... its disappearing.. its becoming hazy.... and now I can see his face.. I have seen his face before.. those eyes.. those. err.. orangutan like eyes.. err.. flesh dripping from each side.. and his sweaty sticky phlegm covered hands are reaching for my face..
I m screaming now.. "Go Away.. Go away Up-ple.. I m warning you.. I will kill you one day.. and I was making sounds like.. kkkhhhugghhh.."
I screamed and yelled and suddenly I saw.. Ma was standing in front of me and she was laughing, pointing her finger at me and honestly she was laughing.. ! Like she has seen one of those comedy show scene where the man is walking and suddenly his pants falls. Honestly speaking I don't find such things FUNNY, even if we don't go by the literal meaning of being FUNNY and at this moment it was ridiculously unfit. She already doesn't have a sense of humor. Nobody in our entire clan has in fact. But I dint find it funny AT ALL!!!
I really really think that Ma and my-guy are just so similar. Like
A) They both don't take me seriously
B) they both favor each other, and most importantly
C) they both make me feel like I am the third person in their story..
how is he my-guy then??,
I cant simply get over this question. I had already made a mental note of this earlier and they are piling up... so I must do something about all notes. Actually I should completely stop referring these to as "somethings" now as they are becoming everything now.. they keep popping up like those unwanted pop-ups of porn sites.
Gawwwwd what am i thinking??? why does my mind race so much..?? how did it all begun?? Ohhhhhhhhhh... all because of that Up-ple dream.. if he wouldn't have been their in my dreams I wouldn't have woken up screaming and mumbling and nor would ma had seen me.. Grrr.. forget it..
Holding my head I was trying to retaliate what did i just saw in my dream.. God.. I was not even orgasmic.. I was just panicking because of this
STUPID!
STUPID!!
STUPID!!!
AND STUPID !!!! raise to the power N.. !!! KID !!

hmmm.. to tell you my biggest worry up till this weekend.. I was missing Up-ple..!!1
Okay people don't give me these looks.. I am addicted to his no-sense, nonsense greedy activities, without any of it I feel SAD !!
I m embarrassed. I know how you all must be feeling but try to understand I am horribly addicted to him and I love nagging and complaining and scheming things for him.
Off lately he went to his native place. Last weekend Up-ple came up and asked for what my-guy had cooked with Ma, so I was about to pull his cheeks with the vampire in me storming out through my hands, when he said "mummy(Mrs Bulky Night Gown) na mujhe naani ke ghar le ja rahi hai (mom is taking me to grandmothers place)" and he was pulling his nickers while saying this.... Urrrgghhhhh do you know his nickers get stuck in the cut of his butt..
haahahahahaha ahhahahahahaha haahah..
everytime he gets up he does this.. and he was doing this even now..HAHAHAAHAHAH.. Gawwwdd..
So during this time I was really insecure.. My mind was racing will Up-ple get a better ap-ple-providing-neighborhood? you know may be they will provide some better variety of ap-ples? Or they have some other ap-ple related products?
Its a WIT, for the past 15 mins I have been thinking about this and by the last minute I AM UNCOMFORTABLE!!! thinking
A) Will Up-ple stop asking for ap-ples?
B) Will he forget his old Up-ple ways?
C) and with this will he stop irritating me by Being-Upple?
I m so depressed I feel like Up-ple. I told my-guy about this on phone. But meeting and knowing Up-ple and renaming him as "the most cutest kid he has ever seen in his entire life", he got really crazy LAUGHING.. :( :(..
How ludicrous???!!!, at some point of time he was really jealous of this cute-guy next door.. God what a hypocrite I am in love with. Forget kicking him.. he is not even "Jealous"!!!
Female love is what is next on my mind!!

I preferred to change the subject and kept down the phone after a while. Is only my love life so miserable? Or the Lord thought of Up-ple as the only entertaining source in my life. Look I know its all crazy but I sometimes seriously think it all karmic ally related. THATS IT !! I made a mental note about this and thought of going to the famous pundit in our city. Already I want to show my-guy's kundali to him. (please note its just his kundali I want to show. I really cant trust our "goon's" (qualities) apparently some rahu-aur ketu keeps driving him to make fun of me :(.
So the forgotten point here is I have been missing Up-ple.

I was wondering what if Up-ple had a twin? let us just suppose. Junior Up-ple would have sufficed senior Up-ples absence. But no this idea was not at all tempting. I haven't seen any kid as irritating as Up-ple and hence I cant give his reputation to just any stupid kid. Usually the smartest of kids are stupid, as is in case of men, the smartest of the lot could be dumb when theirs a really beautiful women around. So no junior and senior Up-ple, its just Up-ple and his aftermaths.. :D
I was really tired thinking about the dream at the end of the day. So while driving back home, I took the longer route to reach the house. their are markets and some fruit stalls and I saw Mrs Bulky night-gown with her Low(by mind)-ely kid. N oh God.. !!! you know what he does, even while walking on main road he will first come to Mrs bulky's left then her right then left and then right and right now.. as in right now when he was standing in front of my car I felt like... Umm no forget it .. I m getting too much cynical.. ! But he .. (Up-ple ) was crying to get something.. How ridiculous and my-guy says he wants "two kids.." !!!!!!! I told him it could be possible on one condition only if he promises me taht none of the two would have any Up-Ple like trait. He said Yes yes and the last one was a bigger.. more stretched YESS..!! The point is he has nothing to do with kids.. err.. ok we all know men.. !! N i know my-guy just two well in this case.. soo..

Anyhow-anyhow(part two) my tryst with destiny was that Up-ple came crashing in front of my car and i had to give them a lift back home. Which is a super-duper-bumper-thumper-lumper-grumper SAD idea!! ... all these events are reminding of my bad Karma.. anyhow .. anyhow.. and anyhow (part three) Mrs Bulky night gown sat at the back seat since Up-ple said "aaaeeeeiinnn muummmmyyyy... muje aage waali seat pe baithna hai..'(i want to sit in the front).
At that time I felt like leaving Mrs bulky fat gown and taking Up-ple to some major "CAR-RIDE" ;) with this thought in my mind i could really see the horns on my head growing, in the rear view mirror but with Up-ple all aaaeeeeiiiinnn sitting next to me.. Those horns disappeared even before reaching their sharp point.. :(

Up-ple was on the peak of his what i call UAS, "Up-ple Abnormality Syndrome" striking hour.
BECAUSE :
A) He dint wear a seat belt even after putting my upper jaw and lower jaw together.. i.e both sets together and smiling(in the most "I-M-GOING TO KILL U Up-ple smile") and saying "please seat belt laga lo.. aap toh bohot ache bache hona(please put on teh seat belt, aren't you a very good boy?)" (I have tears flowing out of my eyes now for this line)

B) He has changed the settings of the car stereo system. while he was trying to listen to
(sub point) B,i) FM
B, ii ) cd
B, iii) ac
Can u believe it?? and yesssssss..
B,iv) he also pulled my barbie's panty :'( :'( which was hanging .. I WANT TO KILL HIMM.. and was he enjoying saying "shame-shame" or what??? and Mrs. Bulky night gown continued "the donkey what's your name..??" grrr...gr.... GGGRRRR.. (Raise to the power N).

C) He THREW UP OUTSIDE MY CAR.. so now my car has eeerrghhhuullaccckk.. i cant explain any further....

... Finally finally home came.. i M NOT MISSING HIM ANYMORE.. i M SORRY THAT I FORGOT HOW IRRITATING HE IS.. N HOW I FIND HIM SO RIDICULOUS AND.. HUFF.. PUFF.....he picked one huge polythene out of their bag of fruit shopping and took out a shining bright red colored ball alike thing.. he tossed it.. and with my eyes following the toss.. I could make out.. in fact even you would.. what was it...

The adventures of Up-ple can't be resisted by me to be penned down. So may be i will make a big blog dedicated to him!!!!
To be concluded..