Upples Aftermath (Season Two)

Readers kindly:

A)People who go "coochi-coochie-coo" and "How can she write such a peice" about kids r strictly PROHIBITED. N can read only at their own risk.

B) Read the season one below this one(you will know Y, once u do it).

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:( I have made up my mind. I have made up my mind. Breathe easy !!

I will ignore Up-ple! I will ignore Up-ple!

I will ignore Up-ple! I will ignore Up-ple!...

(May be I should practice writing this on a notebook.)

Past sometime most of my friends have got to know about this stupid-creature staying next door. They all have suggested me measures to deal with kids like this. I mean yes there must be an existing treatment for such bafflingly stupidest-greedy-horrible kids. If i will be succesful in treating him may be I will open an "emergency on call service" by the name of "bachche satayein toh humein batayein"(if kids pester you call us )

Hmmm sounds like some relief..

I was thinking about this scheme and the call number which I will issue when i heard some sounds like.. "aeeeiinnn ..eeee...muummmmyyyy" and suddenly I felt a frown coming on my face, my fists were firm and ohhh.. ! ohh i know its HIM !!

Now listen to this how up-ple reaches his house which is at the top of the building. Putting one hand at the upper stair and one feet then keeping the other feet.. Grr.. He is such a lousy character he shows me his ass and tries to tempt me. Its so hard to resist his back. Some day out of sheer desperadoes of being tempted I m going to kick him. Oh goodness Up-ple I wish I could come la-la-ing and kick you, already you look like a football(he has flesh dripping at each side of his face).

Oh up-ple why were you even born...( in my colony?)

So Up-ple was coming all "aaeeing" and his bulky mom almost blasting from the sides of her night gown came running, (or was it the earthquake?) and why was Up-ple, our LOW(by mind)-ely child crying.. ??? Umm .. it was about Up-ple being beaten up by one of the school van kid(hahahahaha hohoohoho heheheh), apparently Up-ple sat on This great-kids seat :D (Cool I have a whacky scheme I will meet this Great-kid and may be ask him to beat Up-ple quiet often necessary!!) Yess.. yesss!! yesssssssssss !!
I controlled my frowns and went outside,
Mrs bulky night-gown: "arey mera bacha" (doesnt she get embarrassed, carrying this fat crack in her arms, who is 5 year old?)
I said: Ohh what happened to Up.. err.. to him?
Mrs. Bulky night-gown :(background music Up-ple pathetico aaeeing) : Pitt ke ayaa hai mera raja beta (My king alike son has came home all beaten up) (dun u think English could be very funny when converted from hindi? :P)
I (WOW) : Ohh .. (I pulled Up-ple's cheek and I changed my emotion to action, I actually digged my nails into his cheeks, pinching him and frowning closely at him), who hit you"??
Up-ple : aaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn
Mrs. Bulky night-gown(shifting a little) : I will see you later.
I can be totally evil-ish when i wish to !

hahahahah hohohoo hehehe.. Up-ple GOT BEATEN UP...

HAPPY DAY s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :):):):):):):):)

Aaaaaooowww.. My mouth aches being so happy :
later that week I realized too much of up-ple around could be injurious to my health(certainly not injurious to crow nosed granny and bulky suitcase)!!. Primarily BECAUSE

A) Like maniacs I asked mum to bring eatables of any sort in black polythenes so upple considering the thing to be garbbage wont sniff around (ofcourse keeping in mind that up-ple doesnt have the sense to know that no body carries garbage back home ;)!!)

B) also I asked her to cook less delicious food so that the smell of the spices doesn't strike the food-lust-struck family next door.

But Ma wont listen she dismissed my theory of "How Together Us could kick off the Khuranas". I mean the country should really hire people like me who have the right spirit to eliminate our next-door-whosoever. But its people liek Ma only who donot appreciate such inborn talents. N thats how there is a national dirth of non-utilization of tapped resources.!

The very next day I had my-guy coming up home. Ma was equally thrilled because he cooks delicious food and she is the one who savours his company(only after me). But how is he my-guy then? I made a mental note about this and decided to deal with it later. I told him we can obviously go out(If I hadnt been on my "sunday is my working day" roll, with room cleaning and checking all the papers at my end to be looked for). But he is such a reckless my-guy that he choses "The other lady" in our house's company to be with. and moreover this time he was coming with one more aim- To meet the Boy-next-door(shhh... Upple).. :P HAHAH actually my-guy thought that:

a) the boy-next-door really has sexy ass(not inquisitive how small is it)

b) how he has such a great female following. (Up-ple has female frands )!! :P

So i said "Yea why not, come over he is really cute, with absolutely great nose. Obviously thoughtful of such great attributes my guy decided to take a look at this cute nosed guy next door to check himself on insecurity scale(Good lord my-guy has all cracked up after reading one of the cosmos I was carrying like "Is your girlfreind cheating on you, check on our alarming signal questionairre ").

So my-guy came in all dark purple color shirt(Oh he took my breathe away) . I was ogling at him when Ma embarrassingly chanted her kitchen theme "Daal roti khaao prabhu ke gun gaao" (eat pulses and chappatis and sing lords prayer:P hahah hinglish is soo funny !! ) N with just a brotherly hug he made way to Ma's kitchen(stepping over my "peaked purpleshirt emotions" :( )

I dint bother to go even around them because they ask me to all those chopping onions and tomatoes stuff. I mean come on I cook great food.. (ask Up-ple :P ). So somewhat after 45 minutes of this irrelevant kitchen-cooking nonsense there was a ring at the door.

Now.. any one can gues who is it ;)

The adventures of Up-ple can't be resisted by me to be penned down. So may be i will make a big blog dedicated to him!!!!
To be concluded..

Up-ple's AfterMath (season one)

APPLE (if u could please pronounce ap="up") you will get a better thrill in knowing my next door tobacco tooth five year old. Apparently he has fine visible layer of tobacco lining stretching across his left upper canines to right canines. Grrr..

I don't hate kids, I just don't like who look like coming from some remote area(not counting the one who actually come from there), always crying, And mind you these half absent-minded dumbest of the lot don't just cry they cry like there's some WIN-WIN contest. No matter how much they are looked after, how many nannies they have they will keep on crying for no apparent reason what so ever. Babies especially around one or two years could be bafflingly stupidest. and if by any chance two of them are together and any one of them blows in, starts crying, then mercy be it the other baby will start crying too. There has to be some end to this nerving obsession of being irritatin!!.

Coming back to Up-ple and his crow nosed granny. Well she is the one who must have taught how should UP-ple behave with their next door neighbours (us). Like to ask for everything :
1) they might have seen in OUR hands.
2) they already have (probably they don't want to disturb their stock.. bahhh !!)
3) they smell something made at our place and ring and start saying "oh! I thought where is this nice smell coming from. Followed by her you-are-our best neighbour patting at my mothers shoulder" rest is obvious, my mum provides them with it.

Most recently even Up-ple has been doing the same. He got named Up-ple after one of the frustratingly-bafflingly-annoying incident.
His body language is so like that. Dude!! he can be a personal begging-instructor someday(a carrier choice). Keeping one hand at the back of his head, scratching(I HATE YOU Up-ple) and making his orangutan like eyes(surprisingly he is cute and is not crow nosed) spread and asking my mum "aunti(he doesnt say the auntY's Y properly and limit it to I) apple de do(give me apple)" !!

Oh god! DAM! DAM! DAM. He gets on my nerves.

As Up-ple is such rock-star in my neighbourhood, he hasn't limited his activities to just ask for apples. Like one of the times when I thought, "I should think like a grown up and may be give him a bit of freedom of stupidity (that every child is born with). I should ignore when he touches some crazy extremities, very inclusive where is his eating habits". So i tried to be nice to Up-ple, The prospective points to be kept in my mind by me were :
1) I would pass him a smile(which he ignored).
2) If coming from somewhere and if I get to see him lurking around our door(or probably sniffing for some food at our palce.. Grrr WHO KNOWS!) I would say a hi and try to play. (which he ignored) May be I should learn how to be practical from him!

Oh Up-Ple why were you born? (In my neighbourhood.)

"Upple has a bright future", as my mum says "because" he is playing with girls of his age(trust me they are not as stupid as him, a little bit even they are.)
"So?"
"So boys get a better understanding of girls and that makes them even more.. you know..??"
"No i don't tell me?"
(shifts a bit) "that makes them even more smart"
shuts up!..
No! No! No!
Or may be
Yes! yes! yes
May be someday he turns out to be really smart and I will tell his visitors friends what crap he was? :D

So Up-ple even has Girlfriends, so one of the days (when i had granted him to be stupid around me) I stopped right in front of him (he was on his bicycle , moving ahead with his head turned back) Oh how irritating you are Up-ple!!
I asked him has he seen milli’s sister around?
“nnghhh”
(there are two mili's Jr Mili and Sr. Mili(no sister connection), Sr mili is my friend and Jr. is Up-ple's).
I said to myself "I saw her sometimes back, Now where has she gone?"
There went Up-ple, crying like total retards!
Over what?
well Up-ple : "Mili meri friend hai(Mili is my friend waaaiiiinnnnnn!!) "
(Embarrassingly, couple of aunts started staring at me. Oh Why up-ple why were you even born? I shot him a complete stop-crying-else-you-might-just-remember-forever-what-date-it-was-today look!) and said "err okhay and almost ran from their" !!

The adventures of Up-ple can't be resisted by me to be penned down. So may be i will make a big blog dedicated to him!!!!

To be concluded..

as what he felt.. "My Love for her.."

I'm falling apart,
Some one tether my heart.
My eyes are gleaming in past,
Bringing, what once was a part,
Part of the resting peace
of chiming laughter’s and fond memories..

The joy in her eyes of her first love at first sight
ached me so much so..
I felt someone took away my dearest one ,
compared to whom I may find none..
I felt my breaths were short,
I panicked for days
I burnt cigarette to ashes for smoke to be my cloak.

I sat with her on the night before her wedding day
I asked her if she remembered our childhood plays?
She giggled on some cycle rides where she would fell down and cry
She made faces as similar as those days,
Where I would kiss her forehead and she would rest and sleep the same way.
But then she stopped near her dressing gown and asked me how she looked?
I shifted a little and asked her again does she remember how she never ate without me?
She smiled unknowingly,
And dear! How curvy is the twitch of her mouth
She jerked me a little and said.. “of course I remember it, did I ever ate without you at the dinner seat?”
Something touched my heart when it felt she still remember it all.
I looked up to see her face
The love she had for him shook my nerve of loving her for this long..
I took her in my arms, kissed her forehead
And hastily moved out of my princess chamber.
I couldn’t sleep that night
I could hear her soft murmurs and occasional giggles of anxiety
As she spoke to her would be groom on phone
Unmistakably it was her I’m-so-happy tone.
I knew she was so happy about living her life with him
So I pulled myself away from breaking down in front of her

It was a strange morning as it signaled something annoying
Not even today did it bring any change in her longing
I prayed today, holding the corner of the desk
I prayed for her everlasting happiness and god bring her wealth
Something cried inside of my heart
Did I really wish for her all this, With all my heart?
I confronted the flying emotions, those days which we spend with each other

Throughout the ceremony she looked under the light of a moon
Her eyes dint blink when she saw him
And he, I felt was the luckiest of all!
He came to me, Shook my hand
In a gesture so prompt we exchanged smiles as garlands
So strange were my emotions,
I couldnt cry neither could I betray the wedding notions
She came and stood in between both of us
She held my hand from her left and curled the right on his waist
I smiled as I found did I miss her to be growing that far?
Embarrassed she pulled her hand away from his
And stepped back to embrace
Someone to whom she was everything..

I thought for a moment she is not my mine now
So let them be on their own
Let their folks compliment the pair from the heaven’s home

My folks thought I was a merry man
They spoke of my only asset
The love I carried for her in my heart
They said I was partial crazy amongst all
I chuckled and raised a toast
To her and with whom her future beholds

It was time now to set them in car
She almost sat in, careful not to step on her gown..
When suddenly she came out and stood in front of me
She spoke of my grey hair and asked me to get them dyed
I laughed aloud as everyone stared
She pulled me down with my tie
As a baby she would always do so and bend me down to listen to her
She said at this time “I will miss you pa..
You are the first man of my life..”
A tear curled down her pink makeup
Panicking at them as usual I wiped them with my coat’s cuff

I took her by the hand and made her settle down in the car
I told him to take care of her with a punch
He chuckled and winked
I set them off to the road of endless joys and happiness.
With blessing from all my heart.

(the first four line are written by Rikki) :)