Those Six Letters

The lights of this coffee place were dim.
I waited for him entire evening, like other 5 times even today he dint come.
Nevertheless I paid my bill. Something which was unnatural to me for 15 years and which has become the most natural thing in past 5 years. I was waiting for the waiter to return, when my eyes stopped by a face, at the entrance, which looked familiar yet unrecognizable. This familiar face first started searching desperately for someone in the hall, when it stopped in an angle facing me!
By this time she had placed her bag on my table, her face looked tense and her body revealed that she was thoroughly pissed with something which was related to me and her. Giving her the most unplanned questionable look I asked her finally giving up my last resort to be patientMe :"hi.. err.. do i know you".
Lady : "depends"
Me : " right, are we connected by way of work or neighborhood?"
Lady : "No" (and she began rustling through her bag zips)
Me "i cannot recognize you seriously, though you seem very familiar"
Lady: "Oh now I seem familiar to you, Y dint your ex husband showed me to you?... oh let me get this straight.. Y don't you forget and leave your ex-husband and me in peace! Y do you have to send these letters every year on your anniversary??" (saying this she threw about 6 envelopes on the coffee desk)
Those letters were the same which I had send to him, on the edge was the letter for todays meeting, rest of the five were the one which I send to him before today. I felt like a culprit. I wanted to hide my face. I was having multiple simplest excuses to tell her, I had lies and I had dialog's for her right now. But I chose to face the reality, considering not knowing how and when she got these letters.
Me : "I am sorry you got to know about this, But I still have feelings for him. I tried hard. I try the entire year to forget him, but this one day, I cant. I m sorry. But he has never really replied to any of my letters and please I m being honest he never came here to meet me. Honestly."my eyes were burning and after resisting for a long while, streams of tears got queued up to come out. She was unsympathetic. I felt, she might just humiliate me for everything.
Lady : "I know you two never meet. I know that what you must be going through. He can not meet anyone now."
She paused.
"he is no more between us. And for this reason I came here today. I have been getting your mails, having no choice I read them each year...."She continued for a while, without looking at me, closing her bag, she said.. "I still share same feelings for you, nothing has changed, you are the same female who broke him once and I and the one who got him back to life, the only difference is he is not between us. and thats why I came today."she rose from her position. and left
Aghast and taken aback. I stared at those six letters.
Taking, everything which happened in past 25 minutes, bit by bit I was now away in the past of everything which I created and destroyed. I lost, A lover who could forever had been mine, even if he had died in my arms..
I lost, A life which could forever had been treasured as being spent with someone who really loved me..
I gained an irreparable past and those six letters

Upple's AfterMath (Season Three)

Acknowledgment :P
Dear Readers,
I m coming out with the third season without a reason of this post. Its because of the stupendously crazy response form you people that I forced myself to acquaint you more with the KID NEXT DOOR. I also appreciate the idea of the girl(s) and boy(s) who really have brilliant schemes to testify Up-Ple for being-so-Up-ple like.
happy reading!!!

!!???READERS KINDLY!!???
A) give me more suggestions :P if u have anything n mind to do something about irritating KID NEXT DOOR..!!
B) It is advised to read the first two seasons i.e. the two posts before this one.
c) Also no body ever suggested me if i could come up with apple baskets as gifts for those who give amazing ideas to get rid of Up-ple. hmmm.. Supercoool.. aint it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"The country is serious about our next door neighbours and so AM I !!"- By Me

...He was on top of me.. and I was breathing hard.. so hard that i must have gone unconscious but his on and off movements made me alive every now and then.. I m sure about my emotions.. as I have never felt this way before.. I was panting and .... its disappearing.. its becoming hazy.... and now I can see his face.. I have seen his face before.. those eyes.. those. err.. orangutan like eyes.. err.. flesh dripping from each side.. and his sweaty sticky phlegm covered hands are reaching for my face..
I m screaming now.. "Go Away.. Go away Up-ple.. I m warning you.. I will kill you one day.. and I was making sounds like.. kkkhhhugghhh.."
I screamed and yelled and suddenly I saw.. Ma was standing in front of me and she was laughing, pointing her finger at me and honestly she was laughing.. ! Like she has seen one of those comedy show scene where the man is walking and suddenly his pants falls. Honestly speaking I don't find such things FUNNY, even if we don't go by the literal meaning of being FUNNY and at this moment it was ridiculously unfit. She already doesn't have a sense of humor. Nobody in our entire clan has in fact. But I dint find it funny AT ALL!!!
I really really think that Ma and my-guy are just so similar. Like
A) They both don't take me seriously
B) they both favor each other, and most importantly
C) they both make me feel like I am the third person in their story..
how is he my-guy then??,
I cant simply get over this question. I had already made a mental note of this earlier and they are piling up... so I must do something about all notes. Actually I should completely stop referring these to as "somethings" now as they are becoming everything now.. they keep popping up like those unwanted pop-ups of porn sites.
Gawwwwd what am i thinking??? why does my mind race so much..?? how did it all begun?? Ohhhhhhhhhh... all because of that Up-ple dream.. if he wouldn't have been their in my dreams I wouldn't have woken up screaming and mumbling and nor would ma had seen me.. Grrr.. forget it..
Holding my head I was trying to retaliate what did i just saw in my dream.. God.. I was not even orgasmic.. I was just panicking because of this
STUPID!
STUPID!!
STUPID!!!
AND STUPID !!!! raise to the power N.. !!! KID !!

hmmm.. to tell you my biggest worry up till this weekend.. I was missing Up-ple..!!1
Okay people don't give me these looks.. I am addicted to his no-sense, nonsense greedy activities, without any of it I feel SAD !!
I m embarrassed. I know how you all must be feeling but try to understand I am horribly addicted to him and I love nagging and complaining and scheming things for him.
Off lately he went to his native place. Last weekend Up-ple came up and asked for what my-guy had cooked with Ma, so I was about to pull his cheeks with the vampire in me storming out through my hands, when he said "mummy(Mrs Bulky Night Gown) na mujhe naani ke ghar le ja rahi hai (mom is taking me to grandmothers place)" and he was pulling his nickers while saying this.... Urrrgghhhhh do you know his nickers get stuck in the cut of his butt..
haahahahahaha ahhahahahahaha haahah..
everytime he gets up he does this.. and he was doing this even now..HAHAHAAHAHAH.. Gawwwdd..
So during this time I was really insecure.. My mind was racing will Up-ple get a better ap-ple-providing-neighborhood? you know may be they will provide some better variety of ap-ples? Or they have some other ap-ple related products?
Its a WIT, for the past 15 mins I have been thinking about this and by the last minute I AM UNCOMFORTABLE!!! thinking
A) Will Up-ple stop asking for ap-ples?
B) Will he forget his old Up-ple ways?
C) and with this will he stop irritating me by Being-Upple?
I m so depressed I feel like Up-ple. I told my-guy about this on phone. But meeting and knowing Up-ple and renaming him as "the most cutest kid he has ever seen in his entire life", he got really crazy LAUGHING.. :( :(..
How ludicrous???!!!, at some point of time he was really jealous of this cute-guy next door.. God what a hypocrite I am in love with. Forget kicking him.. he is not even "Jealous"!!!
Female love is what is next on my mind!!
I preferred to change the subject and kept down the phone after a while. Is only my love life so miserable? Or the Lord thought of Up-ple as the only entertaining source in my life. Look I know its all crazy but I sometimes seriously think it all karmic ally related. THATS IT !! I made a mental note about this and thought of going to the famous pundit in our city. Already I want to show my-guy's kundali to him. (please note its just his kundali I want to show. I really cant trust our "goon's" (qualities) apparently some rahu-aur ketu keeps driving him to make fun of me :(.
So the forgotten point here is I have been missing Up-ple.
I was wondering what if Up-ple had a twin? let us just suppose. Junior Up-ple would have sufficed senior Up-ples absence. But no this idea was not at all tempting. I haven't seen any kid as irritating as Up-ple and hence I cant give his reputation to just any stupid kid. Usually the smartest of kids are stupid, as is in case of men, the smartest of the lot could be dumb when theirs a really beautiful women around. So no junior and senior Up-ple, its just Up-ple and his aftermaths.. :D
I was really tired thinking about the dream at the end of the day. So while driving back home, I took the longer route to reach the house. their are markets and some fruit stalls and I saw Mrs Bulky night-gown with her Low(by mind)-ely kid. N oh God.. !!! you know what he does, even while walking on main road he will first come to Mrs bulky's left then her right then left and then right and right now.. as in right now when he was standing in front of my car I felt like... Umm no forget it .. I m getting too much cynical.. ! But he .. (Up-ple ) was crying to get something.. How ridiculous and my-guy says he wants "two kids.." !!!!!!! I told him it could be possible on one condition only if he promises me taht none of the two would have any Up-Ple like trait. He said Yes yes and the last one was a bigger.. more stretched YESS..!! The point is he has nothing to do with kids.. err.. ok we all know men.. !! N i know my-guy just two well in this case.. soo..

Anyhow-anyhow(part two) my tryst with destiny was that Up-ple came crashing in front of my car and i had to give them a lift back home. Which is a super-duper-bumper-thumper-lumper-grumper SAD idea!! ... all these events are reminding of my bad Karma.. anyhow .. anyhow.. and anyhow (part three) Mrs Bulky night gown sat at the back seat since Up-ple said "aaaeeeeiinnn muummmmyyyy... muje aage waali seat pe baithna hai..'(i want to sit in the front).
At that time I felt like leaving Mrs bulky fat gown and taking Up-ple to some major "CAR-RIDE" ;) with this thought in my mind i could really see the horns on my head growing, in the rear view mirror but with Up-ple all aaaeeeeiiiinnn sitting next to me.. Those horns disappeared even before reaching their sharp point.. :(

Up-ple was on the peak of his what i call UAS, "Up-ple Abnormality Syndrome" striking hour.
BECAUSE :
A) He dint wear a seat belt even after putting my upper jaw and lower jaw together.. i.e both sets together and smiling(in the most "I-M-GOING TO KILL U Up-ple smile") and saying "please seat belt laga lo.. aap toh bohot ache bache hona(please put on teh seat belt, aren't you a very good boy?)" (I have tears flowing out of my eyes now for this line)

B) He has changed the settings of the car stereo system. while he was trying to listen to
(sub point) B,i) FM
B, ii ) cd
B, iii) ac
Can u believe it?? and yesssssss..
B,iv) he also pulled my barbie's panty :'( :'( which was hanging .. I WANT TO KILL HIMM.. and was he enjoying saying "shame-shame" or what??? and Mrs. Bulky night gown continued "the donkey what's your name..??" grrr...gr.... GGGRRRR.. (Raise to the power N).

C) He THREW UP OUTSIDE MY CAR.. so now my car has eeerrghhhuullaccckk.. i cant explain any further....

... Finally finally home came.. i M NOT MISSING HIM ANYMORE.. i M SORRY THAT I FORGOT HOW IRRITATING HE IS.. N HOW I FIND HIM SO RIDICULOUS AND.. HUFF.. PUFF.....he picked one huge polythene out of their bag of fruit shopping and took out a shining bright red colored ball alike thing.. he tossed it.. and with my eyes following the toss.. I could make out.. in fact even you would.. what was it...
The adventures of Up-ple can't be resisted by me to be penned down. So may be i will make a big blog dedicated to him!!!!
To be concluded..

Upples Aftermath (Season Two)

Readers kindly:
A)People who go "coochi-coochie-coo" and "How can she write such a peice" about kids r strictly PROHIBITED. N can read only at their own risk.
B) Read the season one below this one(you will know Y, once u do it).
__________________________________________
:( I have made up my mind. I have made up my mind. Breathe easy !!
I will ignore Up-ple! I will ignore Up-ple!
I will ignore Up-ple! I will ignore Up-ple!...
(May be I should practice writing this on a notebook.)
Past sometime most of my friends have got to know about this stupid-creature staying next door. They all have suggested me measures to deal with kids like this. I mean yes there must be an existing treatment for such bafflingly stupidest-greedy-horrible kids. If i will be succesful in treating him may be I will open an "emergency on call service" by the name of "bachche satayein toh humein batayein"(if kids pester you call us )
Hmmm sounds like some relief..
I was thinking about this scheme and the call number which I will issue when i heard some sounds like.. "aeeeiinnn ..eeee...muummmmyyyy" and suddenly I felt a frown coming on my face, my fists were firm and ohhh.. ! ohh i know its HIM !!
Now listen to this how up-ple reaches his house which is at the top of the building. Putting one hand at the upper stair and one feet then keeping the other feet.. Grr.. He is such a lousy character he shows me his ass and tries to tempt me. Its so hard to resist his back. Some day out of sheer desperadoes of being tempted I m going to kick him. Oh goodness Up-ple I wish I could come la-la-ing and kick you, already you look like a football(he has flesh dripping at each side of his face).
Oh up-ple why were you even born...( in my colony?)
So Up-ple was coming all "aaeeing" and his bulky mom almost blasting from the sides of her night gown came running, (or was it the earthquake?) and why was Up-ple, our LOW(by mind)-ely child crying.. ??? Umm .. it was about Up-ple being beaten up by one of the school van kid(hahahahaha hohoohoho heheheh), apparently Up-ple sat on This great-kids seat :D (Cool I have a whacky scheme I will meet this Great-kid and may be ask him to beat Up-ple quiet often necessary!!) Yess.. yesss!! yesssssssssss !!
I controlled my frowns and went outside,
Mrs bulky night-gown: "arey mera bacha" (doesnt she get embarrassed, carrying this fat crack in her arms, who is 5 year old?)
I said: Ohh what happened to Up.. err.. to him?
Mrs. Bulky night-gown :(background music Up-ple pathetico aaeeing) : Pitt ke ayaa hai mera raja beta (My king alike son has came home all beaten up) (dun u think English could be very funny when converted from hindi? :P)
I (WOW) : Ohh .. (I pulled Up-ple's cheek and I changed my emotion to action, I actually digged my nails into his cheeks, pinching him and frowning closely at him), who hit you"??
Up-ple : aaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn
Mrs. Bulky night-gown(shifting a little) : I will see you later.
I can be totally evil-ish when i wish to !
hahahahah hohohoo hehehe.. Up-ple GOT BEATEN UP...
HAPPY DAY s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :):):):):):):):)
Aaaaaooowww.. My mouth aches being so happy :later that week I realized too much of up-ple around could be injurious to my health(certainly not injurious to crow nosed granny and bulky suitcase)!!. Primarily BECAUSE
A) Like maniacs I asked mum to bring eatables of any sort in black polythenes so upple considering the thing to be garbbage wont sniff around (ofcourse keeping in mind that up-ple doesnt have the sense to know that no body carries garbage back home ;)!!)
B) also I asked her to cook less delicious food so that the smell of the spices doesn't strike the food-lust-struck family next door.
But Ma wont listen she dismissed my theory of "How Together Us could kick off the Khuranas". I mean the country should really hire people like me who have the right spirit to eliminate our next-door-whosoever. But its people liek Ma only who donot appreciate such inborn talents. N thats how there is a national dirth of non-utilization of tapped resources.!
The very next day I had my-guy coming up home. Ma was equally thrilled because he cooks delicious food and she is the one who savours his company(only after me). But how is he my-guy then? I made a mental note about this and decided to deal with it later. I told him we can obviously go out(If I hadnt been on my "sunday is my working day" roll, with room cleaning and checking all the papers at my end to be looked for). But he is such a reckless my-guy that he choses "The other lady" in our house's company to be with. and moreover this time he was coming with one more aim- To meet the Boy-next-door(shhh... Upple).. :P HAHAH actually my-guy thought that:
a) the boy-next-door really has sexy ass(not inquisitive how small is it)
b) how he has such a great female following. (Up-ple has female frands )!! :P
So i said "Yea why not, come over he is really cute, with absolutely great nose. Obviously thoughtful of such great attributes my guy decided to take a look at this cute nosed guy next door to check himself on insecurity scale(Good lord my-guy has all cracked up after reading one of the cosmos I was carrying like "Is your girlfreind cheating on you, check on our alarming signal questionairre ").
So my-guy came in all dark purple color shirt(Oh he took my breathe away) . I was ogling at him when Ma embarrassingly chanted her kitchen theme "Daal roti khaao prabhu ke gun gaao" (eat pulses and chappatis and sing lords prayer:P hahah hinglish is soo funny !! ) N with just a brotherly hug he made way to Ma's kitchen(stepping over my "peaked purpleshirt emotions" :( )
I dint bother to go even around them because they ask me to all those chopping onions and tomatoes stuff. I mean come on I cook great food.. (ask Up-ple :P ). So somewhat after 45 minutes of this irrelevant kitchen-cooking nonsense there was a ring at the door.
Now.. any one can gues who is it ;)
The adventures of Up-ple can't be resisted by me to be penned down. So may be i will make a big blog dedicated to him!!!!
To be concluded..

Up-ple's AfterMath (season one)

APPLE (if u could please pronounce ap="up") you will get a better thrill in knowing my next door tobacco tooth five year old. Apparently he has fine visible layer of tobacco lining stretching across his left upper canines to right canines. Grrr..

I don't hate kids, I just don't like who look like coming from some remote area(not counting the one who actually come from there), always crying, And mind you these half absent-minded dumbest of the lot don't just cry they cry like there's some WIN-WIN contest. No matter how much they are looked after, how many nannies they have they will keep on crying for no apparent reason what so ever. Babies especially around one or two years could be bafflingly stupidest. and if by any chance two of them are together and any one of them blows in, starts crying, then mercy be it the other baby will start crying too. There has to be some end to this nerving obsession of being irritatin!!.
Coming back to Up-ple and his crow nosed granny. Well she is the one who must have taught how should UP-ple behave with their next door neighbours (us). Like to ask for everything :
1) they might have seen in OUR hands.
2) they already have (probably they don't want to disturb their stock.. bahhh !!)
3) they smell something made at our place and ring and start saying "oh! I thought where is this nice smell coming from. Followed by her you-are-our best neighbour patting at my mothers shoulder" rest is obvious, my mum provides them with it.

Most recently even Up-ple has been doing the same. He got named Up-ple after one of the frustratingly-bafflingly-annoying incident.
His body language is so like that. Dude!! he can be a personal begging-instructor someday(a carrier choice). Keeping one hand at the back of his head, scratching(I HATE YOU Up-ple) and making his orangutan like eyes(surprisingly he is cute and is not crow nosed) spread and asking my mum "aunti(he doesnt say the auntY's Y properly and limit it to I) apple de do(give me apple)" !!
Oh god! DAM! DAM! DAM. He gets on my nerves.

As Up-ple is such rock-star in my neighbourhood, he hasn't limited his activities to just ask for apples. Like one of the times when I thought, "I should think like a grown up and may be give him a bit of freedom of stupidity (that every child is born with). I should ignore when he touches some crazy extremities, very inclusive where is his eating habits". So i tried to be nice to Up-ple, The prospective points to be kept in my mind by me were :
1) I would pass him a smile(which he ignored).2) If coming from somewhere and if I get to see him lurking around our door(or probably sniffing for some food at our palce.. Grrr WHO KNOWS!) I would say a hi and try to play. (which he ignored) May be I should learn how to be practical from him!

Oh Up-Ple why were you born? (In my neighbourhood.)

"Upple has a bright future", as my mum says "because" he is playing with girls of his age(trust me they are not as stupid as him, a little bit even they are.)
"So?"
"So boys get a better understanding of girls and that makes them even more.. you know..??"
"No i don't tell me?"
(shifts a bit) "that makes them even more smart"
shuts up!..
No! No! No!
Or may be
Yes! yes! yes
May be someday he turns out to be really smart and I will tell his visitors friends what crap he was? :D

So Up-ple even has Girlfriends, so one of the days (when i had granted him to be stupid around me) I stopped right in front of him (he was on his bicycle , moving ahead with his head turned back) Oh how irritating you are Up-ple!!
I asked him has he seen milli’s sister around?
“nnghhh”
(there are two mili's Jr Mili and Sr. Mili(no sister connection), Sr mili is my friend and Jr. is Up-ple's).
I said to myself "I saw her sometimes back, Now where has she gone?"
There went Up-ple, crying like total retards!
Over what?
well Up-ple : "Mili meri friend hai(Mili is my friend waaaiiiinnnnnn!!) "
(Embarrassingly, couple of aunts started staring at me. Oh Why up-ple why were you even born? I shot him a complete stop-crying-else-you-might-just-remember-forever-what-date-it-was-today look!) and said "err okhay and almost ran from their" !!

The adventures of Up-ple can't be resisted by me to be penned down. So may be i will make a big blog dedicated to him!!!!

To be concluded..