My Pink Fairy

I wish I would have never to see you grow, my baby girl,
And grow like nothing else
but in the future tense..

How I Wish you would be in my arms forever..
When you make me think.
Like a magic, how you dangle at my breast
and pinch pink in the murmurs of my daily chores :)

Oh.. I Wish you would be in my arms forever..
Chuckle, as the lullabies chime in your ear.
And at around no particular hour when you roll off to the land of the fairies..
and all what seems pink and cute
My girl,
how you inhale
the fragrance of the peaches, the roses and the vanilla blossoms there
and how you exhale and bring to me
all what is so sweet and warm there..

Awwhh.. When u croon and sigh..
when u sleep right there..

How no guns and machines
bring a glint in your eyes
n look how a barbie
or a two toothed bunny makes u box everything on the toy bed

Hahaha.. goes my heart to hear you, make me deaf at the thought.

All seems belonging to you
and nothing I could ever take away.
But brings me back to think.. closer to you..
To see you slipping away, to the years ahead..
But then it also feels right
to have you growing closer to me,
to have you phasing into a one just like me,
to have you know what was it once to be like me..

If once u would only remember, my baby girl, how i never wished you would grow.. :)

Peak mehendi emotions and The storm today :D yaayy !

Oh this is me. Like whatever i m doing right is "fun gunjan" (reminds me of fun bobby in friends :P) haha so right now my hands are mehendi-d :D well tomoro's a family function and so I m not keeping myself out of any bit of decoration required on me.

Well we will be off delhi.. N today as has been my rule.. till 9 pm my shopping was on. Which included a talk with a mehendi walah when he was carving peacocks, fishes, check patterns, circles and curvy lines in no sense totaly. But i guess i m a very good mehendi lagwaane waali.. cause by the end of the mehendi session he told me "madam next time aayein toh salaam thok ke jaaiyega" ..hehe

(oh typing with mehendi on is so much fun)

anyway i desperatley want to prick my nose and put this strand of hair behind my right ear right now bt I cant so ..
Also when i was in connaught place around 4:30 today, filling my stomach at KFC(they dint had teh crushers and i was having a veg platter ;) ) after this despearate round of searching through chooridaars.. throght the emporium sgement i came out of KFC n i saw DARKNESS :-|

Really it was dark at 4:30 pm I looked around and everbody was running al drenched, some guy carrying his girl in his arms.. aww.. and some other getting all the more amused.. some uncles discussing "how they have never seen such a storm in there 50 years " :P (uhhuh how amusing uncle.. even i havnt in my 2o smthng life :P)

I sware given .. if i hadnt been wearing white i would have gone dashing through the storn to another block which was hardly 6 steps(jumping 6 steps) next.. but umm I did :P and oh god i was badddly drenched (orc which i had to stop at fab india and standin front of there fan for every 10 ins i wnet into the changing room)

Finally when i had reached my auto stand there was no auto.. :P how much delhi like cud this day be.. unpredicatble and stupid !
yes not finidng auto is very stupid.. I found it aftr 30 mins of constant arguing with delhi auto uncles and bhaiyas.. and i came back home at 9 ! woo woo ! :D
At home everybdy is serving me :D yayay princess !
N i m so happy :) and well this is what matters :)

15 August' 2009

A flash second be granted today to me,
To an immortal past and a relevant future to be..

Streak of passive blood and a hunger for a freedom adjourned,
is where many paths combined to become one..

Overwhelmed with gratitude and epithets synonymous to it,
I salute My Mother, the treasurer of this all..

Vande Matram !!
to the souls who still shine on us
To those who are in que
and to those who long for it.. :)

For 'the times'

The stale story of a miser love..
One cave, enveloping endless roads to the love destination ..
Of a time bound relationship
Of regular interruptions..

The times i missed you in the craziest moments.
Singing the tunes of our old favorites..

Of how much I have missed u from then till now..
Continues the missing of the times together.

The face of anger

Shout
As so close to the ear
so it may tear, the last web of connected nerves.
But get rid of the anger,
inside u..
for it needs to break through.

Oh My God !

I have been shot And its too late to realize by whom. Well already he is twenty years older (I see Y it is such a wasted life) and Now.. hello? i saw him so-oo-oo late.. sniff.. But glad to know it made me realise how a crush feels like, all over again.

"Matt Le Blanc.. !! "Right now!!" is my line of declaration for him.

Lets see without even counting the possibility of meeting him ever I just want to pass on my most desired desires to him. Twenty Two is not that bad an age to announce it right ? This man is such a Turn On . Like.. Oh My God !!
I want him Bayyyyyydddllyy !! If only heaven could care about it anymore..

Sighh.. 'I do' beleive in miracles !!

Spill the words of My Choice

From a distance.. So near ..
Amongst the noises made by our hearts.
Provoked thoughts impedes me nowadays to hear u say..
All those words I have been quenching for !!
So baby, the next time you open your quivering basin of pink petals...
Which snubbed to balm anyone else...
For me.. From now..
Just make sure you make a movement in the tunes of "Te Quiero" .. Somehow !!

Sex...

When The 'name' is enough.
When The only times 'lust' and 'love' are undifferentiated.
When you know the countless ways to gain 'satisfaction'.
When More then a cup of coffee, you know what is to be 'addictive'.
When its easier to Remember 'numbers'.
When you admitt being close to 'heaven'.
When 'creativity' redefines the artist in you.
When, sometimes the opposites 'attract'.
When the mutest of 'silence' is required.

When all of this come in no particular order
Then it should be close to guess.. That you know what is sex !

Prayer

Tightly shut eyes
hands clasped together
sequenced row of candles
hair tied together
down on knees and my head touching the finger tips
I descend to the feeling of rhymes
I obey the mystic of inner divine
Transcending from this age to the other
Manifesting yesterday with tomorrow
grounding each of them with today
Shedding the fears with the pain of sorrow
Smiling upon the courage with the sprinkle of happiness
I embrace all of this
to form one prayer for each day ..

"The book of love.." -Peter Gabriel

This song .. has really touched me and has left me completely mesmerized. I imagine someone singing it for his/her beloved, when he/she is desperately offended or annoyed or upset with the other.
Beauty of a song!
Sure it did touch me, and touch me so deeply to have me put it here..
...

The book of love is long and boring!!
No one can lift the damn thing..
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing..

But I...
I love it when you read to me... !!
And you
You can read me anything.

The book of love has music in it!!
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb

But I
I love it when you sing to me.. !!
And you
You can sing me anything.

The book of love is long and boring!!
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know

But I
I love it when you give me things... !!
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings...
And I
I love it when you give me things...
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings...
And I
I love it when you give me things.....
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings.
You ought to give me wedding rings.

Where?

Journey back to you,
Or to hell,
Or to either ?

Each of them sounds similar to the second. Or it is more like the BUDDHA'S middle way (here to hell), in between two worlds, each worse then the words after and before it.

As for me, Well I choose none...

"I m still scared to face the minutes turning to hours,
In proximity to the aligned stars."

BAY OF BOMBS(BOMBAY) - 27/11

Bombay (I prefer attaching my association with the city's old name) turned into a "BAY OF BOMBS"..
I M IN A STATE OF HORROR , DISBELIEF AND SHOCK!

The mass killing of "innocent, unaware and the most normal" human beings in the BOMBAY ATTACK, is the most ridiculous thing, happened to India.
The target placed on HOTEL TAJ has left me to think and rethink about the post independence emotions attached with the hotel.
I m Thinking about those people who left the hotel minutes before this bloody attack!
I m thinking about those people who entered the hotel minutes before this bloody attack!
I m enveloped in the grieve cries of the families and friends who had plans for the future together
I m unable to speak for the most normal people like ME like YOU who could have been there..
I m tired now to avoid thinking about the exact scene, the people who were stuck in there, the corridors, the rooms, the walls of the hotel.
I m stuck between the voluminous sounds of bullets and granites .
I cant control the stream of tears when I replace myself being in such a situation.

Hope Bombay-iits gain "hopes" to have a peaceful many-tomorrows to come..
Hope the courage of the innocent and the bravest of the souls rests in peace...
Hope this city rises against all the odds done to it in less than a quarter of this week....
Hope the citizens of Bombay be the one to install the awakening in the nerves of a common Indian, for out ruling even the slightest of intentions of the terrorists out and out of our OUR LAND!

Day is not far when The attack of the Taj hotel Bombay will turn into TAJ MAHAL.. because ultimately the terrorists motives were to strike and hit at the "minds and hearts" of an average Indian...That day is not far..

If something has to be done, the beginning has marked itself, on its own, for us to begun.. here and now!!

Nangloi to Mumbai- Bus No.910(sayyed Nangloi) !

"Jaats are really funny"
Cant say about those who are from the sub-urbs or urbs or rural areas but the Delhi ones are hilarious. And the one jaat I wanna talk bout here is the conductor of the morning blue-line I board.

He is a funny guy. He is a very funny guy. He is a very very funny guy. Leaving everything aside I think he is REALLY FUNNY.

He even asks his fellow driver to stop the bus until and unless i reach the stop(mind you its no college bus. no private bus its a BLUE-LINE). And often he discounts me on tickets.(ok these things are not funny!)

BUT TODAY HE BROKE ALL RECORDS OF FUNNYNESS! :D

This female entered the bus and said "bhaiya(brother) ye bus nangloi jaayegi"
hahah.. this bhaiya said "Na nangloi na jaaygei.. je to mumbai jaaygei" !! :P :P hahah..
saying this he abused in his harsh yet sweet jaat lingo, adjusted his shirt a little bit.
Standing next to me he grumbled something and said.. "meddem(not madam) je log chadh jaate hain apne baap ki gaddi samajh ke, ticket lene ke naam pe meddem poochte hain ye gaddi kahan jaayegi. Nai meddem aap batao.. Je nangloi likha hai saamne board pe toh Nangloi hi jaayegi na.. ki mumbai jaaygei..(abused again) !!

I don't know and I cant explain, how i managed to "kill" literally kill my burst of laughters. But I expressed my concern by giving a serious look of understanding.

he said : Meddem.... (someone called him for ticket.. he left.. n by that time my stop came)

I immediately messaged my frens about this hiliarios-tic episode ! :P
:) everymorning I meet this playful, funny and typical jaat conductor. Something to boast for a good start everyday .. sigh !

My Japanese Lectures

http://faluda.wordpress.com/

Kaleidoscope Heart.

The Golden ray of the sun above everyones head on earth, fell on a Kaleidoscope.

That golden ray split into multitudes of beaming rays, with which a thousand mirrors inside became so bright and alive, inside the Kaleidescope. And when anyone saw those mirrors they smiled... they actually saw the beautiful symmetric pattern of that Kaleidoscope.

I m the Kaleidoscope, however that Golden ray of sun has gone.

Wherever the golden beam goes may it brings life to a Kaleidoscope.. which has only mirrors.. waiting for a Golden ray to fall on them.. !!

as what he felt.. "My Love for her.."

I'm falling apart,
Some one tether my heart.
My eyes are gleaming in past,
Bringing, what once was a part,
Part of the resting peace
of chiming laughter’s and fond memories..

The joy in her eyes of her first love at first sight
ached me so much so..
I felt someone took away my dearest one ,
compared to whom I may find none..
I felt my breaths were short,
I panicked for days
I burnt cigarette to ashes for smoke to be my cloak.

I sat with her on the night before her wedding day
I asked her if she remembered our childhood plays?
She giggled on some cycle rides where she would fell down and cry
She made faces as similar as those days,
Where I would kiss her forehead and she would rest and sleep the same way.
But then she stopped near her dressing gown and asked me how she looked?
I shifted a little and asked her again does she remember how she never ate without me?
She smiled unknowingly,
And dear! How curvy is the twitch of her mouth
She jerked me a little and said.. “of course I remember it, did I ever ate without you at the dinner seat?”
Something touched my heart when it felt she still remember it all.
I looked up to see her face
The love she had for him shook my nerve of loving her for this long..
I took her in my arms, kissed her forehead
And hastily moved out of my princess chamber.
I couldn’t sleep that night
I could hear her soft murmurs and occasional giggles of anxiety
As she spoke to her would be groom on phone
Unmistakably it was her I’m-so-happy tone.
I knew she was so happy about living her life with him
So I pulled myself away from breaking down in front of her

It was a strange morning as it signaled something annoying
Not even today did it bring any change in her longing
I prayed today, holding the corner of the desk
I prayed for her everlasting happiness and god bring her wealth
Something cried inside of my heart
Did I really wish for her all this, With all my heart?
I confronted the flying emotions, those days which we spend with each other

Throughout the ceremony she looked under the light of a moon
Her eyes dint blink when she saw him
And he, I felt was the luckiest of all!
He came to me, Shook my hand
In a gesture so prompt we exchanged smiles as garlands
So strange were my emotions,
I couldnt cry neither could I betray the wedding notions
She came and stood in between both of us
She held my hand from her left and curled the right on his waist
I smiled as I found did I miss her to be growing that far?
Embarrassed she pulled her hand away from his
And stepped back to embrace
Someone to whom she was everything..

I thought for a moment she is not my mine now
So let them be on their own
Let their folks compliment the pair from the heaven’s home

My folks thought I was a merry man
They spoke of my only asset
The love I carried for her in my heart
They said I was partial crazy amongst all
I chuckled and raised a toast
To her and with whom her future beholds

It was time now to set them in car
She almost sat in, careful not to step on her gown..
When suddenly she came out and stood in front of me
She spoke of my grey hair and asked me to get them dyed
I laughed aloud as everyone stared
She pulled me down with my tie
As a baby she would always do so and bend me down to listen to her
She said at this time “I will miss you pa..
You are the first man of my life..”
A tear curled down her pink makeup
Panicking at them as usual I wiped them with my coat’s cuff

I took her by the hand and made her settle down in the car
I told him to take care of her with a punch
He chuckled and winked
I set them off to the road of endless joys and happiness.
With blessing from all my heart.

(the first four line are written by Rikki) :)

Edge

I move towards the edge.
I don’t know what lies beyond that edge.
But something is their which keeps pulling me every now and then.
I move towards the edge
It pulls, it gravitates me and I stop.
Often I keep standing on the edge.. I m thankful toh it for binding me for so long..
The edge Is u

The rationale behind 'me' being 'I'

"... I m not under that cloud which will walk past and never know who all wanted it.. I m undre the cloud which offer rains.. which shadows the sun.. I m under that cloud of wishes which knows not what to do but knows what its always been doing.. "


"Their is no part of the encounter between a man and a woman.. where a woman feels more cherished, more, enveloped in the man's desire than in the preliminary kisses and caresses that lead to intercourse..."


" ... I crossed my heart to speak to you when I had that momentum of faith and wishfullness, that was the time I made an undying wish to be with you, it was then only that I begged, looking in your eyes, to let me die in your arms .. and never wake up.. !!
that moment of lucid confession, I want you to remember it all... "


"... I cant bring myself to explainng what I felt, you might just partially be knowing this.. something which is Flashed to the memory (a moment of kiss, a moment of embrace, a simple moment of love) .. the exact feeling comes when a similar moment happens.."


".. For all this time I felt home with words. I thought I know when and where I can shape according to my need and beleif.. !!
but what I feel now is Love, I should just give up on this territory, and I want you to forget everything Bad Or worse, and if it remains try and fix it with all good, that has past.. I cpuld never hurt You be it what so ever.. !! "


"..Sometimes the most simple things in Life are so hard to assert.. As grows the simplicty the ways to reach them becomes difficult... Avoid being simple N choose complexity over all!!.. "


"..People reach the limits of getting over with something when they get BORED, When do we get excess of anything that we get over them?? "


"..Sometimes skulls are thick..sometimes hearts are vaccant.. sometimes simply Words don't work.."

I Love U.. !

Today I wont do anything.. Anything as of to make U believe what I have always meant to say.

I m gaming on my faith and all of what I know, I could have given U with love and yea My happiness..

I will be in debt of my own feelings if today they reach out to your heart n will make u understand everything which my mouth shuts itself to.. my eyes refuse to confront with and my body betrays to do.

Today I believe I have disobeyed the age long notions of divulging what is in your heart.. Of keeping To one's own self.. to wait for the moment.. To not to cut beyond words..

I fathom on the days passed together and the nights we set to morning hours..

I m breaking down as the nerve is cracking down in my fist..

as i feel My breath is thumping as after a runner feels..

I feel as mounted as any acme

I feel a kick near my womb as I have always wanted u To be that close..

I have my eyes glistened as I know U will identify its for U..

and I feel proud as I know U r the one I love..

I want to make u sure of one thing that no matter to whom U belong to, My bond with U will remain as it has been as I want it..

I want u to know, that moment where I segregated my destiny and my will as two plots where U entered, I will treasure it on a note such as forever!

I will moan on the thought of your mere presence around me, lost in the myst of your warm touch.

As I know it I want to gather all of the staunch potential love I have in store for U.. for I want U to know for ever I have known nothing but to have faith in whatever U have chosen to do or U choose to do For Yourself.. for Me.. !!

I pray this new year bring s to U wealth, health N every single joy.. Blessed n worthy, U shall get whatever U wish..

I love you..

I love You a lot more then I can ever say..

Or make U feel known to It..

I love U so much!

Outline

I know nothing I m so ordinary,
I m so old yet I don’t know wat is my story.
I wipe so many tears As I walk away,
I feel I m know one so I shud stay.
I turn around ,
I stare and drown.


Alone as I go to the temple of daily thoughts..
One precedes the other,
and the other lies against all odds.
I see N wonder how much there is to it,
Of lost thoughts and some missing hits.
Unevenness of glistening emotions,
Unfriendly public and lucid notions.
How much have I taken before?
How much is their still to be given back,
Of those which I adore?


In the love of life,
Some betrayals are yet to be identified.
One season shook me,
The other beholds back.
The preaching’s of yesterday and today,
Glories faiths and miseries lay.
Tonight I will search for a normal tone,
Not a word of sympathy and a pretending soul.
Some things which I know from before,
Some things which I will pile and think,
Think and rethink in the waves of shore.


I compile here with no results,
With shallow blankness and mourning guilts.
Never will I speak of it again.
As I leave from here,
There will be no shelter.. nothing like what is everywhere.
I will be on my own..
that.. ... what is me what everyone has known!